(no subject)

well. it has been a weekend.

there are good things to share (cookies! friendship! having the apartment to yourself and doing chores naked!) and also not great ones, like homophobic families. why does it always feel like Everything Happens So Much, like you have weeks of nothing and then in 24 hours everything starts to shift? I am getting better at realizing when the world is actually ending and when i’m just having a lot of feelings and need to have a snack and do something mindless. i am not so good at getting myself off my ass. i had not had a full day in bed in a very long time and then yesterday just hit me and i forgot all my ~coping mechanisms~ and just lay there like a dead animal. i’m telling myself that it wasn’t totally a dead day bc i did like 2 chores. 

the idea of of going to work and then going shopping and then going home and socializing and going to church and then eating 500 courses... is deeply unappealing but there’s nothing to do but soldier through it. stiff upper lip, etc. etc. 

it’s christmas so there will be good things! just have to get to them

(no subject)

 
here's a to-do list to shame motivate myself to actually be productive

• set office away message
• clean desk, file anything that needs to be filed
• finish sophia's bday fic, edit, and put on ao3
• buy dad's present and grab something random for the brother (a book? i assume something will present itself to me)
• see if there's one of those wrapping stations
• if not, wrap the second you get home
• eat lunch
• breathe