feedeslilas

whatsup y’all i have spent the last two weeks in barely contained hysterics so my mom, probably tired of talking me down every two days, gave a real come-to-jesus talk and the resolution is…..

…………..…..cha boy is going to grad school!!!!!

(if they let me in, which is uh, far from assured and if they don’t let me in, i am resigned to needing actual inpatient psychiatric care because it will destroy my sense of self-worth once and for all but we’re not thinking about that possibility rn. my eggs? in one basket.)

so yeah, despite loudly yelling about how i would never go to school again and you couldn’t pay me enough to sit through another circle-jerky discussion about shakespeare, i am heading back.being dragging by my feet is perhaps a dramatic metaphor. compelled? i am compelled to return to school because i have no skills except writing papers no one wants to read. i will study english literature because my mom also gave me a come-to-jesus talk about how it is deeply unfair and exclusionist and awful but i will never make a career in contemporary art. which will take some time to mourn.

i really have no idea WHAT i want to study, besides books, or what i’ll do with said masters degree, but it’s a stopgap so i have time to figure something out. i am tentatively excited. mostly excited to have something to look forward to. we will see.

please send all the good thoughts and prayers because i will need them!!!!!